Here are some basic principles for dealing with all kinds of intimidation and harassment. PEEL OFF INDIVIDUALSThreatening individual members or would be members of your group with the loss of their job or loss of respect in the community.
This is to create fear of gaining a job, money and ability to economically survive in the community.
Unfortunately, when a culture of bullying is accepted within a team or in the school, then it may actually seem normal," with the result being that bullying of athletes tends to be "rationalized and ignored." Reading the article, I was reminded of an assistant youth hockey coach who chalked up yelling at a team of nine-year olds in the locker room after a game - as chronicled in a long article I wrote several years back about emotional abuse in youth hockey - to the fact that, "We are hockey coaches. Yeah, we do, but it's no different than any other sport.
We told them they could have played better." Need proof that bullying by coaches is part of the culture of some sports? The second defensive technique Swigonski identifies is what she calls the "backhand apology." A typical bully apology, she says, might sound like "I am really sorry, I got a little carried away, but we really need to work on fundamentals if we are going to win." She points out two problems with such a statement: first, it minimizes the harm by saying "a little"; and second, as with the coach and dad quoted in my article about emotional abuse in youth hockey, it tries to shift the blame to the victim, that it's his/her fault that the coach had to yell because "he could have played better" or that he only yelled at the kids "when they needed to be yelled at." "By implying that if the team had mastered fundamentals he would not have acted in such a manner, says Swigonski, he attempts to deflect responsibility and thereby excuse his behavior." Adding insult to injury, Swigorski notes, the apology actually becomes part of the bullying behavior because it is a "power play that belittles the victim." 3. When bullying behavior is compared with a more severe act, Swigonski says, coach is trying to move the goalposts, allowing the coach's behavior to seem more trivial. The last defensive technique Swigorski identifies is escalation, in which the "stakes" are raised, until the person gives up their grievance. The Experiences of Children Participating in Organised Sport in the UK. The University of Edinburgh/NSPCC Child Protection Research Centre.
How do you handle this situation in a positive and constructive way?
Further, it overlooks the fact that players are taught to accept such behavior as a necessary part of coaching, done for their benefit and edification, and discouraged from challenging team “discipline” or authority.
The purpose of this "persecution" tactic is to weaken your group’s ability or desire to act. REFUSE TO DEAL WITH LEADERSTreating leaders of your group as nuts, or trivializing them as a bunch of “ufo crazies” or “extremists.” This is designed to reveal weakness in your leaders and to isolate them from the other members of your group. ISOLATE THE GROUPGetting public officials, community leaders, or opinion makers (newspaper editors, for example) to criticize the group’s actions, make false accusations or paint its leaders as crazy radicals.
This tactic is designed to keep you too busy defending yourselves or fighting amongst yourselves to do anything productive. DIVIDE AND CONQUERMaking a deal with one of your allies, ( false friends) giving them something such as prestige, money or status, something that they want that is less 5.
Swigonsiki identifies two major difficulties in correcting bullying behavior by coaches: First, she says, is that the "behavior is a continuum from positive to negative; therefore judging when a coach has 'crossed the line' is somewhat subjective." As sports psychologist K. Wilder puts it, it is often difficult to know the difference between critical coach and bully. Home Team Advantage: The Critical Role of Mothers in Youth Sports (New York: Harper Collins 2006), pp.
Swigonski notes that "some authors state that bullying is determined partially by whether the behavior makes the victim feel intimidated or bullied, further stating that although an interaction might be perceived as bullying in some circumstances, it might be considered acceptable in others."(emphasis supplied) But the bottom line she says, a position with I wholeheartedly agree, is that "pervasive demeaning, name-calling, and insulting by a teacher/coach is inexcusable," and a pattern of behavior that is not only "outdated" but, simply put, "no longer acceptable." A second difficulty in correcting bullying behavior by coaches are the techniques coaches use that "rationalize and minimize" the negative perceptions of the bullying behavior by others, and it is here that the article offers parents something new.